


It was supposed to be nothing. Simply nothing.

by SolifiedJaporeanist21



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Awkwardness, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Romance, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-15 22:56:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3465113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolifiedJaporeanist21/pseuds/SolifiedJaporeanist21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do Kyungsoo didn't think nothing of it at first, not that he really needed to. They were looks, what was so bad about that? As long as they didn't hurt anything or anyone right? Although, it wasn't that easy. It wasn't so much as the looks, or glances or even the stares that he should've been worried about but instead of the person who was causing them. </p><p>If their daily lives weren't stressing enough as it is, then a very distracting Park Chanyeol might as well reached Kyungsoo's top #1 stress maker. </p><p>But that wasn't so much as a bad thing in Kyungsoo's book once he found out why. (Discontinued until further notice).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There're just glances. There're non-important, right?

**Author's Note:**

> My whole love for Chansoo was greatly inspired by Kyleworthington's stories, mostly by 'and time yet for a hundred indecisions' verse.
> 
> This is my first fic and first EXO fic ever so if there are any mistakes or wrong indications on the group or anything at all please don't hesitate to inform me. (And I'm probably sure there might be some out of character in this chapter, but I assure I will try harder to prevent that in later updates.)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy, there will be more chapters to come and I will try to get them up and ready to read as soon as I possibly can.

It was glances at first, simple looks here and there, nothing worth questioning about. It wasn't unusual or anything there're friends — bandmates — it's temporary to stare at one another every now and again. Sometimes out of different reasons, why some not at all. Many times it was usually out of envy, to be like or express or induce like that person had just or perhaps just out of inward curiosity.

Either way Kyungsoo insured to himself the looks were harmless. Nothing to throw a big fret about anyways.

About a month this went on. Like before it was nothing, more like simple to ingnored per say to Kyungsoo's point. He didn't address them, — there was no need to — the looks, the glances, the stares, no Kyungsoo could just feel them and that was enough. It was worse more so that he could _literally_ feel Chanyeol's eyes burning into him.

Nonetheless, it wasn't so much that Kyungsoo was uncomfortable, but he also couldn't say that he was comfortable either. It was just— strange.

Kyungsoo couldn't remember a time Chanyeol ever took the time to stare at him longer than Kyungsoo could agree to say necessary. However, then again he was Chanyeol, the goofball of their group, the person who took no offense to his groups rants about his Yoda-like ears (or at least he doesn't remark to them out loud about it). Whatever he did was nothing different than what happy-go-lucky Chanyeol would normally do on a daily basis.

So what if they are just a couple of looks every once and awhile, he's not hurting anything or anyone right? Well, Kyungsoo thought otherwise. Glances they may be, but Kyungsoo knew down right from day one that there was something, a story, a reason behind them, he just couldn't place what they were. They didn't dare stop him there though, if anything he was actually hell-bent on decrypting the sudden attention he was receiving from the silence his hyung was throwing at him.

It was when Kyungsoo began to look back that Chanyeol seemed to tremble in what looked like — Kyungsoo wished to say uncertainty, but soon came to the conclusion that that wasn't it — fear or even so much as fright. Kyungsoo was quick to think that it was because he'd been caught in the act, but slowly even _that_ seemed unlikely to the younger bandmate.

Maybe Chanyeol _actually_ believed Kyungsoo hadn't seen or felt the little things he was doing when Kyungsoo wasn't looking, that it was "Chanyeol's little secret" that only _he_ was aware of, but Kyungsoo had a news flash; he's known since the very beginning.

...

It was too early for Kyungsoo to even begin to register his brain to awake, yet, here he was on a breezy Saturday morning, in the autumn weather of early November, looking at the clock atop his night stand that looked back at him in big bold red letters that just made his eye twitch more and more in disbelief the longer he stared at it. "5:34 a.m" it declared, staring him back right in the face as though the red of the numbers was not nearly enough to lighten his attention that it was really that present time.

Angrily throwing the covers back over his head, Kyungsoo groaned, closing his eyes to attempt himself to go back to sleep. It was too damn early for someone with so little sleep time as it is to be awake so early in the morning. Besides not only that, but he had not one idea what crazy shit their managers were going to throw at them today. It could be stressing, or tiring, hell it could be plain out draining for all he knew. So yeah, sleep is a luxury Kyungsoo and his bandmates must take full advantage of while they had it, otherwise they'd face the consciousness later.

And believe him when he says nobody wants to see a cranky bandmate. If first hand experience wasn't enough for them to not try to prevent another episode from happening them some of his bandmates needed some serious help cause the first time it occurred was anything but pleasant and Kyungsoo of all was absolutely positive that he did not want to repeat it in the future.

Kyungsoo remembered the incident as clearly as a sixteen year old girl would her birthday. Junmyeon it was, Kyungsoo recalls, had less sleep than all of EXO and with him being a leader of their sub group, the pile of responsibility weighed on his tired shoulders and if that wasn't enough then the work he had to put into their busy schedules, TV interviews and fansignings might as well marked the x on the treasure of curses.

Kyungsoo still cringes at the memory of Junmyeon — the polite, shy leader of EXO-K who couldn't possibly think to hurt a fly — loosing his marbles when he eventually snapped, yelling and cursing at anyone or _anything_ within hearing range. Thankfully, they made it through all their interviews beforehand or else who knew what could've happened, what could've leaked— what could've damaged their image.

The threats he spat at them were plain, empty, lifeless. Kyungsoo couldn't really say they weren't directed towards them — because they kinda were but the words meant nothing behind — and it had literally took a whole cup of ice water just to knock him out of his endless rant that probably could've went on for hours upon hours if not for Minseok's quick thinking. Successfully they were though as it had instantly distracted the poor leader from whatever he'd been bantering about.

Although, unknown to his bandmates knowledge Junmyeon was quick to drastically change the subject yelling various _other_ things that mostly didn't make any sense, something about being soaked and that now he needed to take a second shower that day, or something along the lines of messing up his hair that took forever to style. There was many other things, but Kyungsoo was barely listening by then.

It was Yifan who got brave enough — Kyungsoo guessed cause he too was a leader and knew what it felt like — out of the bunch and silently but effectively took Junmyeon to his room in hopes to calm him down with soothing words and conversations that he saw fit would help the situation Junmyeon was currently in. In addition, with them being leaders and all they bonded better than any other EXO member could even begin to describe.

Throwing the covers off of him, Kyungsoo soon gives up, sleep was not coming and that was final. It was like torture, all Kyungsoo wanted to do was sleep, immerse himself in his dreams just a tad bit longer till inevitably he'd get rudely woken up by Jongin's noisiness like he normally does on days that don't go his way, or sometimes on even more down the shit days, when their managers needed them all to be in a hurry to leave to do more stuff that Kyungsoo wishes to deen to agree is imitative — which he'd never admit out loud —, throwing Jongin to wake Kyungsoo since they share the same dorm together, or vise versa.

Kyungsoo soon found himself in the dark corners of their dorm's kitchen minutes after he mentally dragged his tired limbs away and out of his soft, comfy bed. And if the dark sure as hell wasn't enough to prove that he was the only one up at the crack of fucking dawn then the silence might as well hit the jackpot — well minus the bandmates who's snoring leaked out through the confinements of their shut doors. The sun hasn't even begin to risen yet and that made Kyungsoo groan louder — starting the coffee machine before he sat down on one of the nearby chairs — because he knew from experience if the sun wasn't up when they were then the day ahead of them later would be dreadful, long and boring.

...

Kyungsoo couldn't be more right, even if he tried. The day did drag — like a bitch Kyungsoo might add — like a snail that seriously needed to invest itself in a camp on how to be faster or something. This in turn slowly drove Kyungsoo's anxiety to rest to a max every second that slowly ticked by. He was dead tired, he felt like a fucking zombie. He _needed_ sleep. He wasn't in the mood to play whatever game they were playing at, advertising for their fans, yet here he was participating as though he _actually_ gave a damn while he forced himself to hold a smile whenever someone looked at him questionably. Deep down though maybe if he was more awake he might actually be enjoying himself like the rest of his group was but for now he was ten seconds away from falling face first into the ground.

Obviously, he didn't do that but it was a nice thought while it lasted.

It was actually — much to Kyungsoo own surprise — when he felt the burning gaze on the back of his head in the van on the way back to the dorm that he didn't feel so tired anymore. The younger man didn't even need to look back to guess who it was that was drilling holes into his skull for it was fairly easy to figure out on it's own. However, he wouldn't begin to enlighten Chanyeol that he knew that.

Kyungsoo — even after a month and a half — still couldn't grasp onto the concept as to why Chanyeol, of all people, would find _him_ so fucking interesting. What was so special about _him_ that Chanyeol would have to bring all his attention onto Kyungsoo when Kyungsoo himself was no different then the rest of his group? It wasn't like he had a post-it note super glued to his back exclaiming; "Look here and only here!".

 _I'll confront him when we get back to the dorm about it._ Kyungsoo thought, connecting his earphones into his phone. Once he found a eligible song that he felt like listening to he settled the buds in his ears, where they would stay for the rest of the trip back.

Precisely, like he imagined it would play out, Chanyeol had not removed his gaze from Kyungsoo on the whole trip back. Sure there were times he would look away as not to look suspious when someone — mostly Baekhyun — addressed him in conversation, but other than that his eyes were always glued to Kyungsoo. Nonetheless, Kyungsoo didn't mind much for something deep down secretly wished he would continue giving him his silent attention.

Why he thought that all of a sudden was still a mystery to Kyungsoo, one he was _also_ hell-bent on figuring out.

...

"Why do you keep looki- _staring_ at me Chanyeol hyung?" Kyungsoo rephrased, watching as Chanyeol tensed slowly opening his mouth, but before he could get the words out Kyungsoo quickly raised his finger, immobilizing him again. "And before you even try to deny it, I _know_ for a fact that you do. So you better start talking." Kyungsoo added. Luckily they were the only ones in the room for if the rest of the group were there — in the same room as them — they'd start _'talking'_  and when his bandmates begin to talk, things were bound to go down.

However, much to Kyungsoo's relief and pleasure, half of EXO left to god knows where. Kyungsoo while took this time upon himself to corner Chanyeol, keeping his voice low just in case whoever did stay — for Kyungsoo wasn't really paying attention to who left and who stayed in the first place — wouldn't suspect anything of his sudden odd behavior.

The only — and _only_ — reason Kyungsoo had stayed behind was because he wasn't too keen on the idea of getting drunk — which he assumed was where his hyungs had run off too — or coming home to find out from one of his bandmates later that he fucked some total stranger or worse some whore in his drunken state because Baekhyun couldn't seem to drop the matter that Kyungsoo was still a virgin at such a young age.

Kyungsoo inwardly grimaced. He would be scarred for the rest of his life if he couldn't forget that god forsaken day sometime soon. He didn't know why Baekhyun had made such a big fuss about it, big deal he hadn't felt the bliss of connecting with a woman in a intimate way, so what! It's not the end of the damn world! He just hadn't gotten around to it and with their constant busy schedules it was sorta hard too to begin with, Kyungsoo had explained.

But Kyungsoo forgot how much Baekhyun was a attention slut, or how much of a stubborn ass he could be when he _really_ wanted something.  
  
Eventually one thing turned to another, then another until finally Baekhyun took the liberty upon himself to announce to the whole group that Kyungsoo was a virgin, someone who was still untouched, someone who has yet to be deflowered by another.

Kyungsoo had been so furious that day that he was on the verge of killing someone _especially_ the loud over-joyful hyung. He was more then happy to enlighten that to him, but Baekhyun like usual just brushed it off saying something along the lines of "You wouldn't know what to do with the body". Or "You don't want my blood on your hands, do you? For if you did I'd haunt you for the rest of your life". Kyungsoo believed the second one and instantly cringed at the thought of Baekhyun's ghost forever over his shoulder, tormenting his poor being until the end of his days.

Therefore, if anyone knew what was good for them then they wouldn't ever EVER dare to conceive the thoughts of spirit Baekhyun hovering over them like a shadow, following them where ever they saw fit.

Gladly knocking out of the painful reminder, Kyungsoo looked back up at the person who still has yet to answer his question— well questions. Kyungsoo was never a patient man as he was beginning to grow weary of waiting for Chanyeol to say something — anything. Rather Chanyeol just continued to stand there uncomfortably, constantly avoiding Kyungsoo's gaze that was, Kyungsoo guessed, likily to kill if possible, while he bit his bottom lip, his fist clenching and unclenching questionably.

"Well?" Kyungsoo urged, "I'm waiting, if you expect me to just let you off the hook then you better guess again."

"It's nothing, honest." Chanyeol finally said after another long pause, his Adam's apple bobing up and down swiftly every time he swollowed deeply. And with Kyungsoo not being nearly taller then Chanyeol's shoulders he could easily tell Chanyeol was struggling either to keep upright or to not let anything that may or may not infuriate Kyungsoo more.

Kyungsoo caught onto this rather quickly and knit his eyebrows together in thought. _Why was he so_ — _fidgety?_ He wondered to himself.

"That's not what I asked you, Chanyeol. Plus you're lying, try again." Kyungsoo may be quiet around his bandmates sometimes, but he could easily spot a lie when he sees one and Chanyeol was definitely no exception.

"It's true, Kyungsoo," Chanyeol argued, crossing his arms across his chest to make a point. "I just so happen to find you more interesting then the rest of our group, that's all. It's not like I'm committing a crime or anything I enjoy...figuring you out. I _like_ trying to decipher what goes on in that head of yours when you're in your own world, eyes always on the ceiling while you ignore us when we might happen to call out to you."

Kyungsoo had somehow found himself frozen in place — in what he could only assume of was shock. Immediately he sought through his memories to think to a time way back when when someone besides his family has _actually_  ever was willingly wanting to break down his thoughts on their own accord without Kyungsoo's additional help. However, as the times shortened Kyungsoo began to freak, having not one memory of anyone who did.

Chanyeol's words eventually echoed it's way into Kyungsoo's skull, taunting him it seemed. There was something in his words that made his insides feel funny and that just made him fall out panic completely.

This was too much!

Well, at least for someone to take in all at once in one day. Kyungsoo truthfully didn't like it one bit. He didn't like where it was going, what it was expressing, everything _it_ was he didn't like.  
  
He couldn't deny the disliked feeling he got at the thought of being sorted out by another either, it was too weird, too unoriginal, it was too _new_ and Kyungsoo couldn't cope his brain around the unfamiliar feelings it was bringing forth inside him.

This was too overwhelming and the younger man knew it was anything but pleasant. "Well stop," Kyungsoo finally responded, flinching inwardly in silent disbelief as Chanyeol's face contorted in what resembled hurt Immediately. But that was nearly impossible Kyungsoo must be mistaking it as something else and he scoffed, finishing. "I don't appreciate all the attention. I also happen to enjoy my privacy to myself so if you wouldn't mind, I'd _like_ to keep my thoughts between me and me only thank you very much."

With that Kyungsoo left, immediately cringing at how much of a ass he had just sounded like. It was harsh, he honestly admits that, and Kyungsoo didn't like being a dick, but he needed whatever _that_ was to never happen again. Those unfamiliar feelings were _not_ welcomed and that was the only thing he could think of to stop them at the last minute.

Although, the look of Chanyeol's face still tormented his brain as he proceeded to his dorm and he tried everything in his ability to forget it.

...

 _It wasn't hurt_ _I_   _saw, it just wasn't!_ Kyungsoo yelled in his head over and over again trying to drill those words into his skull as he continued to lay on his bed, eyes locked onto the ceiling but he wasn't truly _looking_ at it, it was just— there. Instead his thoughts resumed their mental ranpages. Why would Chanyeol — the happy virus who was never unhappy — be wounded just because he said he didn't like being studied like a book? Well, he didn't use those words, but they were close enough. Kyungsoo liked his privacy, that should have been enough to end the subject, right?

And it wasn't even a lie either. He truly _did_ like being the poker-faced D.O. when around strangers and in front of the camera, the joyful yet playful Kyungsoo when around his group members and family but not once was he the person someone was attempting to sort out.

Kyungsoo didn't know that person. Who was that?

He'd always kept to himself, minded his own business, stayed out of tense situations, that's how he's always been even before he became a singer. Of course he told his bandmates what they _wanted_ to know, or what they _needed_ to know, but other then that it was always been a closed subject. Some things he hid like being a virgin — which was no longer hidden considering that Baekhyun got ahold of that information unexplainably before literally screaming it to the whole fucking world. Or the fact that he truly never once thought he'd be stuck in a dorm with eleven other men as well as many other things that Kyungsoo had no intention of mentioning.

So what was so different now? Why were things running off the track? They were looks, glances here and there. They were supposed to mean nothing! So why was everything shifting without Kyungsoo even noticing beforehand?

Although, they _weren't_ just _looks,_ Kyungsoo had concluded before. He _knew_ without a doubt that there was something, a story, a reason behind them and he'd been right. Kyungsoo's always been right, so then why did he feel so wrong? Like that wasn't the true reason? He couldn't describe it, but he still somehow felt like something was missing — out of place —, like there was far more to the story than just interest as Chanyeol called it.

Kyungsoo was a determined person, he wasn't one to give up so easily and he wasn't about to start now either. He was intent to find out the secrets. Chanyeol was— _is_ hiding something from him, something deeper then the enjoyment of exploring his silent thoughts.

Kyungsoo had many suggestions, but they didn't make sense. However though, he could tell that he was close for he could practically taste it on his tongue, but no matter how many times or ways he tried to glue them together with Chanyeol's actions they never seemed to fit right.

Kyungsoo could only describe his new situation as a very difficult puzzle, one that had tons upon tons of pieces and the only process he's made so far was the edge, leaving the hardest part — the middle.

Although, Kyungsoo's always loved a challenge.


	2. This is just the beginning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's their day off, what could possibly go wrong? 
> 
> Duh everything! 
> 
> All that Kyungsoo knows (needs to know) it that things are ten times worse than normal. Luckily for him though at least his two best friends were there to help him through it.
> 
> Or were they?

Kyungsoo as he discussed with himself on his bed nearly a week ago still has not given up on luring out Chanyeol's secrets, studying his every move, look, expression, _word,_ to the best of his ability. And yet even as he did he _still_ continued to come up empty handed. Naturally Kyungsoo did his studying behind Chanyeol's back, staying unnoticed to both him and his bandmates in case either began to question him about it. And if may so so himself, he was doing one hell of a good job at it.

However, it was sorta ironic to Kyungsoo really that he told Chanyeol to quit his dicovering on him and yet here was Kyungsoo doing _exactly_ what he told Chanyeol _not_ too do; except Kyungsoo wasn't really trying to "read" Chanyeol's brain like a mind reader or anything remotely stupendous, no he was just merely analyzing his actions where he hoped to grasp something that was different then usual.

Hence Kyungsoo's actions were only provoked thanks to the reaction Chanyeol displayed for him _that_ day. Not that it was hard to begin with, when someone was _that_ jumpy how could he  _not_ be suspicious about it afterwards?

The younger man couldn't really place it though, there really shouldn't be a excuse to explain when someone was _that_ uncomfortable with another ones presence. And clearly without doubt Chanyeol _was_ questionably uncomfortable with Kyungsoo's presence. That wasn't even the worst part either, the worst was that Kyungsoo wasn't even that close to him maybe approximately four or five feet if that. Who knows maybe unknowingly Kyungsoo was giving him the deadliest glare he could possibly muster. That without a doubt would make everyone uncomfortable, hell cringe in fear if they so desired.

Although, that was highly unlikely as there was that one tiny detail that stood out.

It was Park Chanyeol, since when has he ever been frightened of Kyungsoo? It was infrequent — seldom —  that he even showed it. Kyungsoo's death glares always went noticed but ignored, his threats heard but dismissed, fuck his (sometimes) hard playful hits weren't nearly enough to bring the elder to flinch in terror or pain. Kyungsoo wouldn't even be the slightest bit surprised if Chanyeol wasn't even afraid of him from the very beginning like many others were.

That was just how close they've become over the years, Kyungsoo figured, there was just no need for Chanyeol to fear him. Chanyeol knew far better than anyone else that Kyungsoo wasn't capable of hurting anyone making him not a threat to others. Sure he may sprout a couple death glares every now and again but they didn't mean anything harmful.

That was just the friendship they shared, Chanyeol practically knew everything about Kyungsoo that Kyungsoo himself didn't even know and Kyungsoo knew everything about Chanyeol that Chanyeol himself didn't know either. Yes, they were forever a close pair and there were even those that went so far as to assume they were in some secret bromance from it. Kyungsoo by then just laughed, tossing the perposterous assumptions out of his world. _I_ _t was stupid and ludicris,_ he declared and it shouldn't have ever been born.

Although, then he started watching, _witnessing_ Chanyeol's actions himself, and from the he found himself slowly beginning to believe those 'perposterous' suggestions as he called it.  
  
It was no lie nor given secret that Chanyeol has always been the clinging type — Chanyeol seemed to think he had to touch to express his affection and as much as it was strange and awkward at times Kyungsoo respected it no less — however there were multiple occasions when Chanyeol's playful affection went too far and Kyungsoo would find himself uncomfortable about it afterwards.

It was hard enough to forget that time way back when when Chanyeol's playfulness went too far that Kyungsoo had no other alternitive but to leave the room because the elder unknowing to his knowledge brought unpleasant things to occur without Kyungsoo's permission. Of course, Kyungsoo had some excuse to back him up. Mostly it was just announcing to Chanyeol before he _actually_ took his leave that he needed to go to the bathroom or just wasn't feeling all the great at the moment and was going to get a couple Aleve. There were many others but Kyungsoo could hardly remember them by now.

Chanyeol may have not said anything about the matter out loud or anything but they both knew it was a cover up, a lie that was horribly masked with excuses that they've both just grown so used to hearing after such long periods of time together. Never once though did Chanyeol stop or question him about it and Kyungsoo was grateful, for if Chanyeol had found out the _real_ reasons to his sudden retreats the elder would most likely find him sick or unnapprochable or worse stop communicating with him like he did now.

Or even even _more_ worse...try to _do_ something about it.   
  
Yes, Kyungsoo wouldn't know what he'd do — or how his life would've turned out — if he never met that overly-cheerful-never-unhappy-proud-mischivous-and- _extremely_ -loud-Park Chanyeol. He would never admit it out loud — or to himself sometimes — but that bright happy ball of energy was the light of Kyungsoo's life. When he was down or sad it was Chanyeol who was always there to make him feel better by putting on that goofy crooked grin and assure him that everything would be alright — to keep looking forward to tomorrow, that he'll be there waiting to make a ass out of himself for him each and every day. As cheesy as it was and _sounded_ it somehow brought warmth to Kyungsoo's heart, one he vaguely ever received from others that weren't family. Kyungsoo had instinctively tried to pass the unfamilar feeling and focus on other things but it was just unable to forget.  
  
There were even times when Kyungsoo was so mad at the world that he went so low as to yell at Chanyeol for constantly perstering him even after Kyungsoo _specifically_ told him that he wanted to be left alone. Kyungsoo of course, internally knew that Chanyeol was only trying to help him but that wasn't enough to stop the younger man from thrashing out at him.

Chanyeol was stubborn though — maybe so much more that it puts Baekhyun's own to shame — and for the first time since they've met Chanyeol refused him, putting a foot down and down right telling him 'no', even after Kyungsoo said he was so mad he could punch someone.

Kyungsoo was even so tempted to too, but honestly both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol knew he could never hit Chanyeol at least not hard enough to bruise his face or leave a mark just because he was angry at nothing. No instead the room grew quiet, save for maybe Chanyeol's loud breathing. Which if Kyungsoo knew anything about Chanyeol like he says he does then that was that the elder couldn't _stand_ silence — which would explain why he was so intent on hastily speaking anything that would gladly repel it.

The words themselves weren't anything special just sweet nothings Kyungsoo identified soon after the elder said them. No it was the actions he carried out that spoke louder as Chanyeol took it upon himself that it was alright to walk up to his angry dongsaeng — without Kyungsoo's say so beforehand — and pull him into his arms unexplainably. Kyungsoo had instantly jumped upon the new action and hurridily attempted to struggle out of Chanyeol's embrace. However, he soon found out that he wasn't nearly as strong as Chanyeol was and minutes later — instead of mad at the world anymore — found himself crying on his shoulder instead.

That was the first time Kyungsoo had willingly cried in front of anyone actually — well amongst his bandmates at least — which was gladly never spoke of since by either him nor Chanyeol. And it was a massive relief of Kyungsoo's behalf really, his teammates hardly ever witnessed their stoic D.O. cry — even during some sad movies — and if anything Kyungsoo was very determined to keep it that way, he wasn't keen on displaying his weakness especially to those that would judge or remark not so kindly to his once "ugly tears" as that baby-faced Luhan once pointed out a while back.

However, that was then this was now and Kyungsoo couldn't remember a time he chased to react those memorable days with Chanyeol again, to gladly turn back time and undo what he said and done to a week ago where everything _used_ to be normal between them.   
  
...

Kyungsoo has always kept a close eye on Chanyeol it was a job Kyungsoo once implied, a _duty_ in case the elder did something out of hand (which was rare but still), or hell just wouldn't shut up and drop the subject at hand when clearly the time for silence was meant to present. Of course, Kyungsoo didn't have the heart to actually tell him to shut up because he knew from first hand experience that that would painfully hurt the tall man's feelings. Chanyeol has always been sensitive about that sort of thing and everyone in their band knew this so they best tried whatever they could not to thrash out at him if they had a choice.

Kyungsoo by all means though _liked_ this so-called job as he called it. And yet at the same time, he was still confused as fuck as to why.

Maybe it was because Kyungsoo saw Chanyeol like a little brother — even though the latter was _clearly_ older than Kyungsoo himself, he still insisted on acting as though he were still a rebellious teenager — and always strongly assumed Chanyeol needed protection more than he himself ever did (and ever will).

Don't get him wrong Chanyeol _did_ act his age — when he felt it was the appropriate atmosphere of course — and those were the only times Kyungsoo truly looked up _(literally)_ to him as a older more mature individual. There were more forgotten-by-now times too that those days occurred but 75% of the time were just Chanyeol showing off his childish side. And by now everyone just grew to love him just the way he was, even if he could be slightly irritating and annoying. Just _slightly._

Currently sitting in the dorm's kitchen proceeding to cook something Kyungsoo resumed his game playing as he patiently waited for the water in the pot to boil. This was mostly what he did now ever since the whole Chanyeol incident. It wasn't like he could just walts right up to Chanyeol and demand that they chat like they used to. No Kyungsoo wasn't like that nor that determined. He would give the man his space, that was what he wanted right? To be as far away from Kyungsoo as he could get and as much as Kyungsoo hated to admit it, if he were able to he'd want to stay away from himself as well.   
  
It was when someone entered the room with him that Kyungsoo looked up from his phone. Whoever it was passed right behind him to the fridge without even so much as a grunt or word of greetings whatsoever.  
  
He soon found out why.

It was no other than Chanyeol, the person who has been doing everything in his will power to ignore, pass, run away, shut out for the past week — and was he doing a good job at it too.   
  
Now pausing his game (what Kritika can wait) he looked up to watch Chanyeol intently, the taller man was far more interesting than any game in the world.  
  
"Hello." Kyungsoo greeted, pushing his phone aside to give the elder his full on attention. Hey, it didn't hurt to try at conversation today, who knows perhaps they _might_ get somewhere?   
  
However, like yesterday, and the day before and so forth on, Chanyeol jumped at Kyungsoo _now_ noticed presence. Fuck his voice alone terrified the older man now. Today, though Chanyeol almost, just _almost_ dropped the bottle of orange juice. That was new.

Take note: Chanyeol is far more jumpy than he was yesterday.

Sighing deeply for the 100th time that week, Kyungsoo laid his head down to rest it on his arms underneath his chin, eyes slightly resembling defeat. Yes, if there was anything he could do to change what he'd done then he'd take it with no reluctance at all. It was bad enough as it is that he kept getting that unfamiliar feeling in his chest whenever he saw Chanyeol and how hurt and unsure he looked when their eyes met. Kyungsoo suddenly winced as he felt the sharp pain of guilt sting his heart at the mere image.   
  
"Talk to me, Chanyeol," Kyungsoo whispered, his voice soft and low in case the elder would snap in half if he used his normal voice. Kyungsoo wanted things back to the way they were, he didn't like what they've become. Ignoring each other? Leaving uncomfotably when Kyungsoo was in the room? That wasn't them, that wasn't the friendship they shared, that wasn't the one that took years to build. "—how long have we been doing this now? A day, two, three, a _week?_ God, _please_ for once could you stop leaving every time I get a chance to talk to you? I admit it okay, I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did, I'm sorry. I just didn't know what else to do, it was stupid and out of hand I know, I just couldn't cope around the new attention you were giving me."

Kyungsoo paused, biting his lip as he studied Chanyeol's body language, searching for something, _anything!_ Like always though he came up with nothing. Letting out a deep breath Kyungsoo finished. "I'm practically begging here, please, _please_ talk to me, Chanyeol I miss _us."_    
  
Suddenly Kyungsoo blinked, once, twice...skeptical for a moment. Wait, what _exactly_ did he just say, mean? What what this 'us' represent? Was there even a 'us' between them? True they were friends, best at times, close others. They were co workers too — teammates —, that however only brought their friendship closer, to the family latter. Mainly that was all thanks to their contracts. Although, they didn't _have_ to be, right? They didn't _have_ to be friends because of their contracts, they could just be strangers that worked together, aquintences that lived under the same roof.   
  
But no, they weren't anything remotely close to that. They've bonded, hooked, _clicked_ somehow, they were similar in many ways but so different in others. They were many things but 'us' was not nearly one of them.

Knocking out of his thoughts, Kyungsoo looked back up to Chanyeol as he now moved, filling up a glass of the orange liquid before putting the bottle away. Discarding him instantly Chanyeol proceeded to leave. Kyungsoo's heart immediately filled with pain and hurt then as he watched the elder's retreat without even muttering so much as a reply back.

However, when all seemed lost Chanyeol stopped abruptly and hope filled Kyungsoo's bruised soul. "Your water is boiling."   
  
Glass to his face is what it felt like to Kyungsoo, at Chanyeol's words and his heart dropped tremendously. That was it? No, 'Gosh, Kyungsoo don't sound so sad, it's okay were cool. It was a stupid habit anyway, so don't worry your still my favorite dongsaeng', or 'It's fine, nothing changed between us were still best friends, till the end remember'?. Those four words weren't what Kyungsoo wanted to hear, fuck he could care less about the water, he longed to talk, to that about _them_ damnit!   
  
Kyungsoo bit him lip again, furrowing his brows, this definitely didn't go as he wanted it to. He cringed as Chanyeol words echoed through his brain, how low and hollow they were. Yep, he really fucked up this time. Letting out the stuttering breath he'd been holding in he stood up, walking over torwards the stove where he turned the burner off. He was no longer hungry, all he felt in his stomach now was the pure bitterness of his choices.   
  
Staring at the boiled water Kyungsoo scowled, that newfound disgusting feeling in his gut clouding his judgement now he dumped the steaming water into the sink, dropping the pan harshly soon after it, ingnoring the couple gasps and 'what the hells' from the other room from the loud bang it made.

Kyungsoo didn't care whether they were mad or not, or if they were disappointed or if they were...unfazed? Tossing the confused logic out of his head Kyungsoo grabbed the forgotten phone off the table before going somewhere else. Anywhere was better than there, a hole if he will was more than suitable for someone like him. Fuck it somewhere he could pity himself was forever luxury.  
  
...

Perhaps maybe his bandmates _weren't_ that slow at figuring him out, especially considering Jongdae confronted him later on in the day when he knew the rest of the group wouldn't notice. Although, then again dropping the pan in the sink probably wasn't the _smartest_ thing to do either for that was what drove Jongdae's suspicious to a max, but hey, then again who ever said Kyungsoo was thinking positive once he'd done it?

It didn't help matters that it was their day off either, implying that all of EXO had _all_ the time in the world to laze about and relax, but worst of all watch _everything_ that went on around them. Unfortunately, it only got worse as EXO-M was in Korea with them, meaning even _more_ eyes to watch him, study him, _mock_ him if they so desired.

_"Heeeelllloo,_ I'm waiting Kyungsoo. What is up with you? You've been far too irritated these past couple days, I mean come on you practically murdered that poor sink, more so the pan." Jongdae was being overdramatic, Kyungsoo noticed as he continuously pointed to where the kitchen was then back while he talked. He also kept looking behind him every five seconds and Kyungsoo had not one idea as to why. "Could it be because of what happened between you and Chanyeol hyung?" He finished, by now Jongdae's voice softened, lowering probably not wishing to rise Kyungsoo's bottled fury any further than it might be already.

Kyungsoo could care less about whether or not he was trying to keep low. What he wanted to know was how did _he_ know about his and Chanyeol's talk that day? He sure as hell didn't tell, and by the way Chanyeol was acting he most likely wouldn't either, not if it would cause a awkwardness between their group and show during their concerts or radio sessions.

Thinking about it for a moment Kyungsoo finally figured it out, rolling his eyes. Of course, it was no one other than Byun Baekhyun. _Ooh, I'll have to kill him later!_   Kyungsoo growled.  
  
"What does it concern you, it's not like it's "your" problem." Kyungsoo replied flatly, looking back to his phone to resume his playing, it wasn't like he had anything better to do anyways. And just when he thought Jongdae only confronted him to share his gossip like he always did on their days off, he instead prys Kyungsoo to talk. Ugh, how incredibly perfect.  
  
"Your right it isn't _my_ problem, it's yours. But I make it my problem because," Jongdae started, pausing for a moment and when he didn't continue Kyungsoo looked up to see as to why that was but before he even had the chance Jongdae quickly snached his phone from Kyungsoo's fingers most likely to keep Kyungsoo from being distacted while he talked. "—both you and Chanyeol are my best friends and I don't appreciate seeing my friends fight, let alone ignore each other day after day. Yeah, you don't think I notice but I do, now you better man and up and tell me Kyungsoo I'm not playing around."

Kyungsoo now empty with nothing to do pursued his lips in defeat. He could never win against Jongdae, _never._ Laying back against his pillows, Kyungsoo looked back to Jongdae sighing. What the hell, might as well. It wasn't a secret anymore anyways, at least not if Baekhyun already knew.

...

Jongdae now on the edge of Kyungsoo's bed nodded in a thinking matter as he took in Kyungsoo's words. "You _do_ know why he's been doing that lately, right? I mean come on it doesn't take rocket science." The elder asked once Kyungsoo was done. Kyungsoo immediately gave him a glare that read 'dont tempt me, Kim I'm not in the mood to play your guessing games'. "I'll take that as a no, well you see he doesn't want to tell you because—!" He stopped short when Chanyeol out of nowhere interrupted him. "Jongdae!"   
  
Kyungsoo blinked, when the hell did he get there? Looking over he saw Chanyeol looking fearfully at Jongdae by the doorframe. And by the looks of it Chanyeol had been merely passing by but stopped upon the realization of what Jongdae was going to say. But wait, what exactly _was_ Jongdae about to say? "—I said don't!" Chanyeol finished roughly and Jongdae gave him a reassuring smile one that was sadistic and cruel underneath but sweet and gentle outside.

"Don't fret, Chanyeol god, I wasn't going to spill anything, it's not in my right place too, but _you_ should. Tell him at least. Doesn't he have the right to know?" Jongdae inquired.

"No he doesn't, not yet." Chanyeol lowly mumbled as though too much has already been said. Which in Chanyeol's case already has. "It's difficult too. You may not know but it's so much easier explaining it to a far friend than a close one."

"Ouch, I'll let that one slide," Jongdae hissed as though hurt before getting up from Kyungsoo's bed to where Chanyeol was, although stopping behind him. "—but you _need_ to do something about you guys, sort it out, who knows maybe he'll a—" Jongdae purposely cut himself off snickering before he (unknown to Chanyeol's knowledge) pushed the taller man fully into Kyungsoo and Jongin's shared dorm, beaming, "Now you kids have fun!" And with that Jongdae shut the door behind him with a low click.    
  
Chanyeol instantly jumped at the click of the door shutting before he hastily turning to open it, even going so far as to bang his fist on it. However, it was futile attempt since Jongdae and someone else — the snickering and laughing not once going unnoticed to Kyungsoo's ears — was holding it close, preventing further accord. 

"Guys this isn't funny, open the door. You're acting like children." When he got no answer in return Chanyeol added, "I know that's you Baek, I'll be damned if I ever seek your help ever again." 

Sliding down the door seconds later now that he finally figured it was futile Chanyeol let out a shuttering breath lowly muttering "They know I can't tell him, not when I don't know myself." under his breath. Letting out a groan, Chanyeol looked up at the oddly silent Kyungsoo, although, his silence shouldn't be surprising since Kyungsoo enjoyed observing with his eyes rather than asking with his mouth. 

"Okay, what. _The. Fuck._ Just. Happened!?" Kyungsoo chocked out, eyes wide in shock as his mouth was slightly parted. Chanyeol lightly chuckled at the look, what he couldn't help it Kyungsoo's eyes were just so round and wide that the whites stood out far more than they probably should. (Not that Chanyeol didn't like it or anything, but he'd never tell Kyungsoo that, even if it was a little cute.)

"Byunbaek and Jongdae happened. Remind me never to trust those two their truly fucking devil spawns under all that sweetness." Chanyeol moaned, leaning his head back against the closed door, eyes closed in irritation.  
  
Kyungsoo let out a exsasperated sigh, he should have know it'll be those two, they could never be trusted _especially_ when together. "So much for a nice _quiet_ relaxing day off. And just when I could rely on them too." There was a pause as though he were hesitant before he finally proceeded. "Hey, at least matters can't possibly get any worse right?" Kyungsoo scoffed not expecting a answer. How could he? Chanyeol, (if he was lucky) would either dodge his questions or just avoid him completely.   
  
"Oh? How so? What could _you_ have done to get it worse than I got?" Chanyeol wondered, opening his eyes slowly to look at Kyungsoo.  
  
Something inside caused Kyungsoo's breath to hitch at the look Chanyeol was giving him. Kyungsoo though automatically figured it was because of shock and not of anything else. But was he hearing this right? Was Chanyeol _seriously_ asking for conversation? Not nearly five hours ago was he all skiddish and practically finding every excuse possible to leave the room. To _ignore_ him.

_It could be worse,_ Kyungsoo shrugged. "Let's just say my day turned out like hell cause a certain someone, I won't mention any names, much to my distaste kept avoiding me and throwing me the cold shoulder every chance they got." The hint was easily hearable in Kyungsoo's words and Kyungsoo was 99% positive Chanyeol couldn't miss it. Even if he were to try.

Chanyeol snorted, a small smile creeping up onto his lips. Whether or not it was intentional or not Kyungsoo didn't know. All he cared about at the moment was that it was real. "I wouldn't say I was "ignoring" you," Kyungsoo gave him a glare, and Chanyeol rephrased, "—okay so maybe I was, a _little_ but that was only because I wasn't in the mood to chat, let alone explain things that I'm not 100% sure about." Chanyeol murmured, his smile long gone now as he moved a leg to his chest so he could rest his head on it while the other stayed outstreached in front of him.   
  
There he goes again with the whole 'not knowing myself'. That was the second time today and Kyungsoo couldn't deny that he wasn't just a tab bit curious. Who could blame him, ever since Jongdae confronted him more sercrets were being shown. "Are you now? I mean, if I may, I'd like to know just what exactly your dilemma is?"   
  
Chanyeol's head instantly shot up at the question, a fearful look on his face, one that Kyungsoo couldn't even begin to read. It could be uncertainty or unsureness but it could also be hesitation too? The younger man decided to go reassure him and once he was sitting in front of him on the floor Kyungsoo smiled gently placing a hand on his shoulder, internally grimancing when he felt him tense. "It's okay Chanyeol, you can tell me, we're best friends and friends don't keep things from each other, no matter how crazy it may or may not be. And if I recall correctly it was _you_ who made that a thing, remember?"   
  
Chanyeol relaxed at the look on Kyungsoo's face, how calm and collected he was, how soft his voice sounded. Yes, Chanyeol knew Kyungsoo wasn't trying to trick him into spilling anything he wasn't ready for, he was just being the friend he was, his words alone proved that. Lightly chuckling Chanyeol agreed, "Okay, that much is true, I'll give you that, but I can't tell you this." He looked down between them as though ashamed. "Believe me as much as I'd like to, I can't not yet at least, I still need to wrap my head around it. The only reason I told Baekhyun was because he was in my situation and I _thought_ I could rely on him to help, but as you can see that sure as hell ran down the drain." Sighing he finished, looking back to Kyungsoo's slightly worried features, and he smiled reassuringly. "Just give me time, I promise I'll tell you, but when I ready, not when Baekhyun or Jongdae say I'm ready okay?"

Kyungsoo opened his mouth to say something to console him, tell him he'd wait for however long it took that he would help in any way he could but a voice cut through his whole train of words off. "What the hell? Kyungsoo why is the door shut?" Jongin's voice rang throught the door and Kyungsoo now looking away from Chanyeol noticed that it was slightly cracked, trying to open but Chanyeol's body was preventing it.

What the hell alright! What was with everyone in interrupting today! Just when Jongdae was about to tell him why Chanyeol was acting the way he was Chanyeol interrups and now when he finally gets to talk to Chanyeol for the first time in...days Jongin interrupts! _Ugh, what the fuck is wrong with this day off!?_  Kyungsoo screams.  
  
Frustrated now, Kyungsoo angrily got up off the floor, Chanyeol following suit silently behind him. Kyungsoo swung open the door roughly. "What!" He nearly yelled but stopped himself before he did.   
  
Jongin shocked to hear the little squishy Kyungsoo raise his voice was momentarily stunned. He couldn't even remember what he wanted. It was when he took notice to Chanyeol's presence behind Kyungsoo that he found himself to talk. "Am I...interrupting something?" He asked innocently, pointing to the two older men in front of him, blinking a couple time to ensure he was seeing right.

"As a matter of fact yes, but it's too late now so you might as well just carry on with what you wanted." Kyungsoo glared, crossing his arms impatiently. He just couldn't win.

Chanyeol stared bewildered at the back of Kyungsoo's head, mouth agape in silent astonishment. Was Kyungsoo really that intent on finding out? Could he perhaps f—! Chanyeol shook his head disappointedly. _No, he doesn't he's only curious because he wants to reveal my secrets so there are no more between us._ Chanyeol concluded.    
  
Hurt again fill Chanyeol's face and after Jongin and Kyungsoo finished their mindless bantering Kyungsoo quickly took notice to it. The younger man turned around once Jongin was out of sight and lightly placed his hand on Chanyeol's arm. _He didn't flinch?_ "Chanyeol hyung? What's wrong?" Kyungsoo asked worriedly, the painful look not going good with someone with a face like his. He always had a happy excited look on his face, but hurt...pain... just didn't suit it.

When Chanyeol didn't respond, hell he didn't even move at his voice, Kyungsoo raised it again. "Hey! Earth to Chanyeol! Is anyone home?" Moving closer Kyungsoo waved a hand in his face, that seemed to get his attention and he instantly moved back, a slight blush rising on his pale complextion.    
  
"O-Oh, sorry what? Did you say something? Wait, why were you so close?" Chanyeol stammered shyly. Kyungsoo just smiled rolling his eyes before turning around back to his bed. There it was again that thump in his chest, the one he could never grasp. As much at it was annoying it wasn't entirely unpleasant. 

"Hmm, no it's nothing just forget it. Now shoo, I think I heard Baekhyun calling for you." Kyungsoo lied through his teeth, Baekhyun wasn't really calling for him Kyungsoo had just said it because he desperately needed to get Chanyeol away from him, those unwelcomed feelings were returning and he didn't want Chanyeol to find out before he could even identify it.   
  
There was a moment when Chanyeol looked like he wanted to say something but in the end decided not to. Nodding, he headed out the door, however before he left completely he stopped looking back. "Are we still friends?" Kyungsoo fliched, his blood running cold in his veins. Since when weren't they friends? Sure things were tense around them for quite awhile but that didn't ever mean they ended their friendship.   
  
"We never stopped." Kyungsoo smiled gently, his chest tightening at the thought that Chanyeol would assume they weren't friends. His smile although widened as a thought suddenly came to mind. "Just try not to stare too long alright? People will grow suspious."  
  
Chanyeol laughed, that goofy crooked grin on his lips again. "I don't stare Kyungsoo I explore, there's a difference." He corrected his own smile widening at Kyungsoo's reaction. And before he could respond back Chanyeol left for good.

Kyungsoo instantly let out a long sigh, falling back against his made bedsheets. "This day...was unbelievably chaotic. So much for luring out Chanyeol's secrets huh? It now seems like I'm becoming one _with_ them." He whispered to himself closing his eyes, a smile creeping onto his lips. "I guess that's not too bad though."

Somewhere in the dorm Kyungsoo heard Baekhyun and Chanyeol going back and forth like cats and dogs and Kyungsoo chuckled. Neither were winning that much was for sure but it was still funny. Baekhyun said something about helping Chanyeol out, but Chanyeol wasn't buying it and he scoffed, Kyungsoo assumed he was throwing his arms up in the air like he always did when frustrated, replying that Baekhyun was just making matters worse, although that he should be used to that.

"Things sure were lively today weren't they Kyungsoo?" At the new voice Kyungsoo leaned up on his elbows to see that it was Junmyoun, dark circles under his eyes but he remained holding his assuring smile. "Strangly this was the best day off we've had in months actually." Junmyeon lowly chuckled to himself adding, "Even aside the whole Chanyeol and Baekhyun argument going on in their dorm right now. Either way this day turned out pretty peaceful."

Completely sitting up now Kyungsoo scoffed waving his hand in the air. "If you call this peaceful then you much think a construction sight paradise." The sarcasm was easy to spot and Kyungsoo knew Junmyeon caught onto it but nonetheless he didn't make a snide comment back. " You do have a point, though," Kyungsoo cut in, "—this day may have been out of control and different than our usuals but it sure as hell was memorable, wasn't it?"

"Naturally. Our times as one always are, even if they may cause undescribable disasters in the process. However, you should prepare for what's to come. This is just the beginning after all." Junmyeon warned softly, leaving immediately as he said it while Kyungsoo got left confused and seeking more answers.   
  
So wait, what!? Did his whole group know something he didn't!? Was there a secret going around behind his back that he wasn't seeing or something? Letting out a irritation groan, Kyungsoo grabbed his phone again, only to find out that the battery was dead thanks to Jongdae not shutting down his game when he took it during their talk earlier.   
  
No answers, no game, no help, yep Junmyeon was right, things were going to get a lot worse from here on out.

But not in the way he thinks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize greatly for the long update, I will try to get more chapters up faster I promise. Again like always I hoped you all enjoyed leave kudos and comments if you like. 
> 
> Also I plan to make this story short probably around 10 to 15 chapters (unless I really get into it and can't help myself but to make it longer) but then again I won't promise anything that I probably can't keep.


	3. Being afraid is the least of the problem

"So you _don't_ know what he meant then?"

Chanyeol crossed his arms, face contorted in slight irritation as he's been asked that question far more than he could count. His eyes on the other hand scanned his new surroundings, intently. He originally thought it was odd that Kyungsoo would pull him away from the practice room all of a sudden to talk with him, but this... Well bluntly put this was different. So here he was now in a much _much,_ smaller less-crowded room with Kyungsoo pretty much cornering him, but hey than again it wasn't _unnatural_ either and Chanyeol just went along with it thinking it was nothing.

Well he'd been wrong.

However much to his own confustion it was the _interrogation_ Kyungsoo was springing upon him that was focusing all his possible attention on, not that fact that he could easily, (like easy as in taking candy from a baby easy) ignore what Kyungsoo was ranting about and pull him flush against him for a kiss, cause fuck Chanyeol now couldn't stop looking a Kyungsoo's fucking tempting lips in this close space between them.

Moving his eyes away frantically when the sensual thoughts began to hit him Chanyeol met Kyungsoo's gaze again replying calmly. The light blush on his cheeks hopefully wasn't too noticeable. "Yes, I'm postive Soo, as positive as I was when I joined this band. Sheesh why is this so important all of a sudden anyway? I mean seriously how long has it been since then exactly?" 

Kyungsoo winced as though he'd been burned, biting his lip before avoiding Chanyeol's burning gaze sheepishly. He hated when Chanyeol looked at him like that, like he saw right through him, like he could break him down within one thought. And honestly that was something Kyungsoo didn't want. First the elder wanted to figure him out and now he was fucking succeeding, it was unfair!  
  
Chanyeol noticed Kyungsoo was thinking too harshly and he smiled because for one it was just too damn adorable not too and two because that was so like Kyungsoo. Moving forward a little Chanyeol uncrossed his arms to place his hands on the younger man's slump shoulders, assuingly. "A month okay? That was per say a freaking century ago to Junmyeon. Hell he's so much of a grandpa I bet he's probably," Chanyeol shook his head, "—no I have no doubt that he has already forgotten that he even shed those words to you in the first place." There was a pause as though he was waiting for Kyungsoo but when he got nothing he continued. "As long as there is nothing conflicting with our group— with _us,_ then I see absolutely nothing to be worrying about. If everything's normal in our surroundings then it'll be alright, right?"

"Hey, don't try to weasel your way out of the subject Chanyeol hyung." Kyungsoo glared deadpan, before he sighed himself, eyes looking at the ground in a manner that he's given up. "Okay, so maybe I have been overreacting about the whole thing just a little bit but can you blame me? Believe me, as much as I'd _like_ to drop the matter and follow your words I can't. Our group is hiding something from me, something worth great importance. Junmyeon is our leader— _their_ leader, he's the main source of the information and he's more than unwilling to spill any of its contents." he by now looked up, meeting the others eyes again. "God for Pete's sake _you're_ hiding something from me, _still_ no less!"   
  
Chanyeol swallowed deeply, flinching inwardly. What was he to say? What was it that Kyungsoo _wanted_ him to say? "Oh, yeah I've been meaning to tell you Kyungsoo that for the past year I been seeing you in a different light, yeah I see you as _more_ than my friend, as _more_ than a teammate I work with, I might even be so much in love with you but that's alright, right?" Chanyeol cringed at the mere confession. He'd definitely scar Kyungsoo for the rest of his life if he did that. Granted, he could never in a million years tell the younger man how he felt. He could only prolong it, cause fuck he's known what he's felt for Kyungsoo before he even confronted Baekhyun about his problem, he's just been playing that he didn't. But that was also around the time that he found out he was a coward.

And yet that was fine with him, as long as Kyungsoo was safe from him then that was enough.

"I've told you—" Canyeol began after a long pause, his hold on Kyungsoo's shoulders tightening, but Kyungsoo simply ignores it as nothing; interrupting him by finishing himself. "—Countless times that I'm not ready yet, Soo, respect that." He mimicked in a low voice, deep enough to attempt at sounding like Chanyeol before returning back to his original voice adding, "I know, I _know,_ but haven't you at least, I don't know, just a tiny bit figured it out yet? I mean you said so yourself didn't you, its been a month since then, how much longer do I have to be kept in the dark until you finally come out and tell me what's on your mind?"

 _I_ do _want to tell you what's on my mind, to tell you what I think about you. Kyungsoo I do I_ really _honestly do,_ _I'd_   _like to simply kiss you whenever_ I _wanted without having to fear of being rejected, to hug you so you knew they were loving and not for fanservice, fuck_   _I'd merely like to jack off with you knowing_   _I was thinking about you while I was doing it; but_   _I can't._   _I can't risk the sacrifices. This friendship we share,_ this _bond we've formed,_ this _we have currently would crumble into pieces if I let you into my head, if_   _I let your virgin eyes witness what dirty shit goes on in there when I'm_ _alone, writing shit that is forbidden in my lyric pad because I can't dare say them to your face without looking like a complete pervert in the process; if_   _I let Junmyeon explain what_ I _begged him not to._ Chanyeol confessed in his head, since he couldn't in reality. Kyungsoo however just looked up at him with concern in his dark wide eyes and Chanyeol instantly felt his heart twist painfully. _Don't look at me like that Soo, it breaks me apart._ Chanyeol pleaded.

He soon inhaled, steadying his rapid thoughts before exhaling, giving up. He couldn't tell the truth all he could do is prolong it, and like always he did just that. "You know why Kyungsoo...you're just denying the inevitable. If you truly wanted to know like your implying you do then wouldn't you have already figured it out? It's not rocket science Kyungsoo, its not like you have to be the smarter person in the world to understand. But as for what I'm seeing you don't 100% desire the answer I have to give." He paused, sliding his hands down Kyungsoo's shoulders to rest them on his arms before he tilted his head slightly. "There is something holding you back, isn't there? From the truth? Are you possibly _afraid_ of what I want to tell you?"

Kyungsoo eyes widened, afraid? He wasn't afraid, he'd know for sure if he was, wouldn't he? "I-I I'm—" the younger man grew skeptical by now and as he began to form his words Baekhyun quickly came up to them out of the blue, immediately demanding that they return to the practice room for Junmyeon was seeking their presences for holding up the given activities they were assigned for for the day.   
  
_Again,_ he added.

Chanyeol was quick to nod in understanding. "Remember Soo, some things are _meant_ to stay hidden for a reason." The elder lowly whispered in Kyungsoo's ear, his voice soft and deep as there was something laced between as he side-stepped him to head back. Kyungsoo stayed there unmoving though, his brain trying to he figure out why the hell Chanyeol would whisper that to him. Either it was because he was trying to keep Beakhyun from hearing— which was highly unlikely considering the boy was most likely in on the whole secrecy thing as much as Junmyeon was— or he was doing it because... Well Kyungsoo didn't even know if there was another reason why.

Turning around now, ignoring the unknown tremor that evaded down his spine, thanks to Chanyeol (again) he noticed that Baekhyun had sticked around, and yet he still had the audacity to give him a judging glare. As for the look on his face it looked as though he has been kept waiting for a conversation that clearly had never existed. Nothing new there.

"Don't bother sticking your nose in this one, Baek." Kyungsoo said as he passed him. It was as though he knew what Baekhyun was going to say even before he formed the words himself.   
  
"Fair enough." he shrugged trudging after the younger till they were walking side-by-side. "Our manager was getting inpatiant too by the way, it wasn't all Junmyeon. Luckily for us though he had a important engagement to see to and immediately left, meaning we in rewards get allllll of the rest of the day off!" Baekhyun beamed cheefully after a while, hands behind his head as they walked down the long hallway, both eyeing Chanyeol that was farther ahead of them.

There was another quietness that Kyungsoo didn't acknowledge him and Baekhyun cleared his throat. "So um, what's up with—" "Don't worry about it Baek. I'm sure he'll be fine. Just give him his space and he'll be back to his annoying happy self in no time." Kyungsoo interrupted immediately, cutting Baekhyun off.

The elder man held up his hands in a failed attempt at surrender. "Very well, but you know Soo," he whispered softly, resting a hand on his shoulder soon after, causing Kyungsoo to stop in his tracks abruptly. "—we're always here for you if you need someone to talk to about it, okay?"

He looked towards Baekhyun, "I'll keep that in mind, thanks." Kyungsoo smiled, although in his mind he dare didn't wish to find out who 'we're' that he was referring to.

...

In the living room on the couch relaxing Chanyeol locked his phone, now bored out of his mind. He had called his mom earlier but she couldn't chat long considering he had happened to call while there was a massive rush hour at Viva Polo, and well his sister was out so she wasn't a option either. Bluntly put he was left with nothing to do, and since their manager left early he had nothing to do to pass the time except look at his phone every five seconds as though it'll magically do something.

Of course his talk with Kyungsoo wasn't any better either, especially given that the younger was a stubborn little fucker who just couldn't seem to come to terms that he couldn't tell him what he was seeking yet. But not only that but Chanyeol didn't even know if Kyungsoo was ready for THAT kind of news just yet. Nonetheless this whole secrecy thing was for his own safety, but why couldn't he understand that? Didn't he catch the signs he's been signalling? Course not. He was stubborn.

His phone suddenly beeped, knocking him out of his thoughts and he looked down to take notice it was because the device was sucking on the lasts of its battery. _Typical._ Chanyeol scoffed. Turning it off he tossed it onto the table next to him, he'll charge it later.

He soon got up from the couch to proceed to the kitchen where in his either misfortune or coincidence found Kyungsoo rambling through the cabinets determined. He was probably getting the preparations ready to cook dinner, and with what was already set out on the counter it looked like he was making Kimchi Spaghetti. "Phones dead I presume, care to offer some help?" Kyungsoo suggested, not once looking in Chanyeol's direction.

"Knew all that from in here, wow you must be a psychic." Chanyeol chuckled, moving further into the kitchen to give his asked help.

Normally the younger never really desired someone else's assistance cause either they'd get in his way (the kitchen wasn't that big to begin with) or put something in the food that either didn't belong or ruin the taste. But what was the special occasion this time? Could he still be upset or disappointed with him from their chat that he wanted to sort it out like they always did after they fought over the stupidiest things?  
  
Chanyeol soon shook his head doubtfully, Kyungsoo didn't keep grudges, he was probably just tired out his ass from all the hard work they've been putting into their schedules these past couple days and was simply looking for a little company.   
  
Although, Chanyeol wasn't going to assist with the food this time, he doesn't want Kyungsoo to yell at him for over-cooking it like last time. He still cringes at the memory. That day was a disaster.   
  
"Fucker!" Kyungsoo growled, immediately bringing Chanyeol back to reality to look over torwards him. A smile instantly made its way onto his face though as the reason for the outburst was beacuse Kyungsoo couldn't reach something on the top shelf. "God I'll kill the person who put it all the way up there, damn their fucking tallness'!"   
  
"Here, I'll grap it for you, you know since I'm taller." His smile widened as he saw Kyungsoo roll his eyes, clearly he hit a nerve.  
  
Behind Kyungsoo now he reached over his head to grab the ingredient off the top shelf but when he felt the younger man lean back so he wasn't reaching up anymore, Chanyeol's fingers trembled around the small bottle.  
  
His mind froze as he hadn't realized just how _close_ he was to Kyungsoo and his heart sped up in number, it now practically hammering in his chest embarrassingly. He looked down, his nose quickly catching the scent of Kyungsoo's hair, the scent itself was something he couldn't really place but it was far beyond intoxicating to his senses. Fuck it Kyungsoo himself was intoxicating to him.  
  
He uncontrollably leaned down further, feeling Kyungsoo jump as he turned his head frantically to the side, their eyes officially meeting. Chanyeol, no matter how many times Kyungsoo looked at him like this, still couldn't understand what it meant. Perhaps he didn't want to. Perhaps he did. However, at the moment he knew he didn't because he wanted to stay like this for as long as he could; to have Kyungsoo up against him, till inevitably someone would come in and ruin the moment like they always did.   
  
He should've pull away, he should go back to cooking the spaghetti, he knew this but he just couldn't. It was like Chanyeol had him ensorcelled to where he couldn't move, and with him so terribly close Kyungsoo found he didn't desire any movement between them, he more wanted to find out what Chanyeol would do next. Would he pull away? Apologize for invading his personal space? Would he leave because he felt uncomfortable? Would he... _kiss_ him, because with the way he was looking at his lips, Kyungsoo sure as hell wished he would. Lips, nose, ear, neck, anywhere was perfect for him as long as he could feel Chanyeol's lips on him.   
  
Kyungsoo suddenly realized what he just thought and he mentally screamed, _where the fuck did that come from!_ Although, before he even got the chance to figure out why such thoughts entered his mind Kyungsoo felt those said lips lightly graze his neck, Chanyeol's breath heavy and thick against the exposed flesh, and Kyungsoo unconsciously shivered in anticipation for more. _Wait, now_   _I'm_ _seeking more! What the hell is wrong with me!_ Kyungsoo's cheeks immediately grew warm, the arousing blush coloring the paleness of his face as his heart grew rapid in his chest.  
  
_Was this it_ _? Was this what Chanyeol has been trying to tell me? Does he feel something more than platonic love for_   _me? Could this be why he has been studying me like he had?_  
  
Kyungsoo internally shook his head, dropping the thought, he wasn't going to jump to conclusions before he knew the true story. Instead he opened his mouth, eyes lidded as his voice trembled the whispering words. "C-Chanyeol hyung... The g-garlic salt?"

Chanyeol opened his eyes, pulling his head back away from Kyungsoo's neck hastily when he realized that that was where it was before handing him the asked item. "O-Oh, y-yeah, sorry, here." He stammered, hurriedly giving Kyungsoo room to go back to cooking. Kyungsoo nodded shyly, thanking him for reaching it before sprinkling the ingredient into the dish before stiring it; not once looking in Chanyeol's direction as he had, rather he kept his head down low, avoiding any eye contact.   
  
Chanyeol should have expected much, he might have just kissed the younger man therefore he wouldn't feel so much like a creepy pervert for running his lips against his friends' skin like he did now. It was even worse as he felt his dick twitch in his jeans, the now noticeable erection coming to his knowledge, it both painfully hard and seeking attention...especially more of Kyungsoo's attention.  
  
Chanyeol sighed, he's fucked up again, there was no doubt about that, and yet he _still_  couldn't deny that he had the most raging hard-on possible.  
  
But hey, this wasn't the worst that Kyungsoo has brought him through.

...

Chanyeol hated dinner, the food was delicious of course (not that he was expecting anything less having been Kyungsoo who made it), but the looks he kept reciving from his bandmates was unsettling. The questionable glares, the hesitant words. And all because he kept moving uncomfortably because his fucking boner was still bugging him, he wanted to touch himself, rub against his hand against _something,_  against  _someone_ (specifically Kyungsoo for giving him the damn thing in the first place) just to release some of the damn tenstion. But unfortunately he couldn't, not with all of EXO-K there and certainly not in the dining room where everyone was eating. It was wrong and disrespectful and just because Chanyeol was a idiot sometimes doesn't mean he's was _that_ fucking crazy.

After dinner though Chanyeol quickly took the shower, locking the door behind him before striping out of his clothes faster that he could say kkaeb-song. And right when he entered the steaming water he wrapped a hand around his hard cock, moaning lowly as he began to stroke himself roughly into satisfaction. He fucking hated himself for becoming this hard from one simple accurance. He must have wanted Kyungsoo worse than he originally thought. The mere thought of the younger bandmate drove his body to arouse further— _harder._  
  
Chanyeol hated Kyungsoo, he fucking hated him so much, he hated how he turned him on by the simplest things, hated how he didn't ever return the gifts he offered, how he got more picked for everything in whatever shit they did for entertainment, hated how damn adorable he looked when his innocence showed. God he hated Kyungsoo, but he also loved him too. He loved how he'd bring a beautiful heart-shaped smile out of him when he would make a ass out of himself, loved how he would laugh at his not-so-funny jokes, loved how he would allow him to hold him even though he was embarrassed on TV shows, how he looked out for him the times he's fallen or slipped on stage, of course he didn't show it while it happened, (fans were present and it was during a overwhelming concert) but when they got back to the dorms he did (they all did actually) and Chanyeol was grateful to have such wonderful bandmates that look out for him all the time.

Yes, he loved Kyungsoo, he loved him beyond anything, but he could never show him it, he truly only ever got to was on stage when all assumed it was for fanservice— for the cameras. It wasn't, there was actually a secret emotion underneath all the ass spanking, the rose giving, the back hugs, the playfull punches and pushes, the couple rings; of course Kyungsoo would smack him for it, but never once did he identify Chanyeol's actions as genuine. Chanyeol knew this but he wouldn't show his hurt, he'd just walk it off playfully, while on the inside he was crying out as his heart broke.

Chanyeol bit his lip hard, hushing his moans and groans, as he leaned his head back against the tiled wall, his body slick and wet from the shower water while his hair stuck to his forehead stubbornly, and yet he still consistently pumped himself both hard and fast, not caring whether or not his bandmates heard him (however he didn't worry too much considering he got the lucky dorm that was closest to the bathroom while the others were further down the hall). There was the familiar buildup of pressure in the pit of his gut and it brought Chanyeol to move faster, the rising of his orgasm growing nearer and unbearable.  
  
Chanyeol closed his eyes in his lust, breathing ragged as he thought of Kyungsoo, of how he'd bend him over that fucking dining table as he fucked his ass hard, pounding his hips into him as his cock milked his prostate raw until the younger would have no other alternative but to scream. Both dirty words and pleasurable moans of his name, constantly over and over till that once beautiful voice of his would grow hoarse from it all, making him unable to sing properly the next day. Chanyeol's hips jerked as he flicked his wrist a loud moan erupting from his throat as the image of Kyungsoo screaming his name brought him over the edge, his cum hitting the shower floor, following with it running down the drain, his own voice hoarsly moaning his bandmate's name in his orgasmic release. 

Chanyeol numb and exhausted stayed against that wall for a moment, his breathing returning to normal as his high began to die down. Then when he could stand straight again he washed up, both hair and body before getting out. When he finished dressing he went to his room but stopped when he saw his phone on the floor in front of his room. He looked around confused and when he didn't see anyone he shrugged. Grabbing the device he went to his room and crawled underneath his covers, hopefully to take in some good sleep before he has to wake up early for the radio session tomorrow.

And once again he forgot to charge his phone.

...

Kyungsoo yawning, left the kitchen once he finished washing the dishes, everyone by now has retreated to their dorms since it was late and Kyungsoo himself was about to when suddenly he heard something on the table in the living room. It was buzzing and vibrating the whole damn table and it was beyond annoying. Kyungsoo looked over towards the noise to see it was Chanyeol's phone, but wait he could have sworn it died, so why was it on, vibrating no less?   
  
He soon shrugged answer-less and walked over towards it, carelessly picking it up in his hand, he didn't bother looking through it, because a)that was a violation of privacy and b) because Chanyeol wouldn't ever go through his phone so why would he? Heading towards the elders room to return it to its owner, Kyungsoo held up his hand about to knock when he heard something in the distance, something he _knew_ he probably shouldn't have, which instantly made him freeze mid-knock.  
  
_"Kyungsoo..."_

Said person's eyes immediately widened and in his shock he dropped the phone on the ground with a low thump, it soon after making a low short tune as the battery finally gave out. 


End file.
